Oh man, I couldn’t go for batch roller-blading =[ Sad, sad, sad. I wish I could be there right now.

I’m having my scholarship interview tomorrow and I am not pinning much hope on it. Yeah true, it will be nice to get the scholarship but having the word ’scholar’ stamped across your forehead 24/7 isn’t nice. Teachers will have higher expectations of you, they will expect you to speak up during tutorials and to complete your assignments on time blah blah shit stuff. Well, even if they don’t, at least that is how I stereotype ’scholars’ as. And I am sure many will agree with me. I am afraid that I may not be able to do that. At least not for now.

So happy as I may seem if I get the scholarship, I know that deep inside I’m just killing myself. Frankly speaking, I am not really excited to get it. And I wouldn’t be surprised if I don’t get it. I don’t want to kill myself by stressing myself out. That’s probably the second worse way to die, after drowning.

On a much lighter note, I have managed to cut down my 2.4km timing by about 2mins. During Mock NAPFA, I took 15:35min to run 2 rounds around the school. Recently during PT, I took 13:40mins. YAY. I have never gone below 15mins in my whole life! Good, good, good! While running, I kept pace with Yan Yi and I forced myself not to fall behind.

Yesterday was my first time running 4.8km. The furthest I have ever ran before was 3.3km for VJ Cross-Country. This time, we ran together as a batch and I guess we slowed down the guys a lot. They claimed that they can run 4.8km in half the time we took to run together as a batch and I trust that they were not lying. The 4.8km did not really feel like it was 4.8km probably because we were not pushing ourselves enough. But for starters, it’s okay I guess. But if we want to improve, we have to push ourselves a lot more.

I am turning 17 this Saturday and surprise surprise, I am not looking forward to it. Turning 1 year older just means that I have to run faster, do more sit-ups, jump further, do more IPU etc. And that sucks.

I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do.

But when I see you face, it hurts knowing I can’t do anything to help you.